feelgoodbynumbers asked:

ok.. i'm a trans girl and i stumbled across your blog while looking at feminist blogs, i was, as you might have guessed, upset to be reminded that people laugh at me and even dislike me just because of who I am (even though i face it so often). But I decided to wait and calm down and just ask you, as politely as possible, why do you love to shit on trans women? It makes me feel worthless tbh, which I know we're not. (I've faced terfs before, but I still don't see why you hate me so passionately)

terfosaurus-rex answered:

Well, I will answer this question genuinely even though it is of the “did you quit beating your wife?” variety.

There is nothing funny about what transwomen face.  I believe being trans means having actual dysphoria, which is extremely uncomfortable and merits compassionate treatment. The real question is if SRS is the most effective way to deal with the dysphoria. Detransitioners and research are very insightful about this, it seems like if SRS is the best that can be done trans people are not be adequately treated. Yet there is not much being done to look into other methods because, like anything that has a gendered component, it is highly politicized. 

What I do laugh at is the idea that wearing a skirt sometimes makes you trans (which a lot of young people on here seem to believe), that you can be trans without dysphoria, and that wanting a pronoun like “bun/bunself” is on par with wanting to be called “she” or “he”. I laugh at the idea that biological sex is socially constructed, but gender is not. I laugh at all the labels people came up with that mean things like “sometimes I wanna have sex, and sometimes I don’t” or “I only want to fuck people I actually like”. I laugh at the idea that saying people with penises or people with vaginas furthers discourse instead of covering up WHY there is oppression of one of the groups by the other.

I believe in trans only places, but also female only spaces. Both groups of people have very specific struggles that cannot be adequately understood by the others. That doesn’t mean I think there should be no spaces that include both transwomen and females. There are some spaces where it would be wildly inappropriate to be all inclusive though, such as groups discussing childbirth trauma or a support group for trans people who are seeking SRS. 

One of the pivotal differences in female experience is the possibility of pregnancy. It compounds the damages of sexual assault, and is also a reason why women have been treated as a means of production instead of actual people. People almost never find out they are infertile until they actively try to get pregnant. My pregnancy was extremely influential in making me gender critical, because it was debilitating (I had severe nausea and vomiting for the entire pregnancy), and I was treated in an abusive manner during the birth. I’ve been trying for nearly 2 years to get something done about it and no one really gives a shit. I physically felt how much of a difference being a female can make, I could not ever identify my way out of the oppression that is based in my biological reality. I used to be 100% on the anti-terf bandwagon, but I found a lot of the accusations made against “terfs” were generally unfounded.

I post things supportive of transwomen, esp when transwomen are in abusive relationships or experiencing sexual assault and confess it on mtf confessions.I’m not a monster. I am sick of being told that any fears I have of male violence are unfounded, only to be actually threatened by the people who are upset that I….feel threatened. Its kind of a mindfuck. I get treated like its my job to validate every trans womans identity, even if they are treating me exactly like an abusive man would. Lesbians get a lot worse treatment than I do„ they constantly get told that they need to really give dick a chance. Their identity as females attracted to females is constantly undermined. 

Alright, now that I have given you a thoughtful response, hopefully you will answer the question I have never had answered despite asking just about every person I could: how can gender identity exist outside of a spectrum of gender stereotypes? 




I Like Giants » Kimya Dawson

When I go for a drive I like to pull off to the side
Of the road and run and jump into the ocean in my clothes
And I'm smaller than a poppyseed inside a great big bowl
And the ocean is a giant that can swallow me whole
So I swim for all salvation and I swim to save my soul
But my soul is just a whisper trapped inside a tornado
So I flip to my back and I float and I sing
I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything

i’m naming my first daughter kimya

  • man: when you dress like that it's like putting a steak in front of a dog. what do you expect?
  • woman: *proves that even dogs have discipline*
  • man: wHat!!!!!11!!!?????? WHY ??????????????????????????????????? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! COMPARING US FREE-THINKING MALE CITIZENS TO DOGS????????????????????/ FEMINISM IS MISANDRY!!!!!1!!!!!111!! WHERE DID OUR MEN'S RIGHTS GO